Welp, We Did It — Rather, They Did

And now, all of us will be victimized by their ignorance.

Courtesy of Moom

Let’s start this on a positive note: None of us are having our faces bitten by camels today. But that’s pretty much how I feel. At 4:40 a.m. (I am in Portugal), I watched as Pennsylvania was called for Trump. I got up, staggered to the kitchen, and took a German-made, homeopathic sleep aid. Quickly, the valerian cut through the anxiety, and I tumbled off to a sound (120-minute sleep).

As I lay in bed, staring incredulously at the news on my phone, I marveled at how the “close” election had turned into a red wave the size not seen since Reagan crushed Walter Mondale in 1984.

I am not going to bore you with the reasons why this happened. I am not going to blame my beloved President Biden. I will save this analysis for a later date, after the shock has worn off and my feet have returned to the earth. As of this moment, one cup of coffee into our “new world order,” I feel completely as if I were one of Marc Chagall’s flying figures.

Courtesy of Boutiques de Musees

Alas, I am not, and soon the tethering process will occur. I will become a citizen of a fascist United States of…