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The Ever-Evolving Table of Vladimir Putin
Religious leaders from Russia’s many and varied faiths meet with puffy-face to discuss the situation in Gaza
The main criterion for snagging an invitation for the sit-down in the Kremlin was not that you be recognized as a leader of some religious group in Russia but that you have some silly-looking hat.
A few “holy men” were hat-less, but they were the exceptions to the rule. There was a bit of controversy about why Santa Claus — Ded Moroz (Father Frost) in Russia — and the Easter Bunny weren’t invited, but the two extra chairs seemingly would have been situated too close to the czar.
The ever-benevolent little spy wanna-be from Leningrad gathered the holy men, all who support this war of genocide in Ukraine — religion, genocide, I know, I’m scratching my head vigorously — to discuss the situation that has all of them so concerned about “women and children” finding themselves suddenly under a sky filled with Israelis bombs.
Exiting from his secret chamber, the one where he lies about in Yak’s innards until just moments before it’s time to be seen by the world — Yak supposedly returns vitality and vigor to men, kind of like testosterone supplements — Putin sweetly waved his hand signaling for the clown-show to stay seated.
Russia, in case you have forgotten, is a holy land. According to them, it is more sacred than all of the rest of the world’s nations, including the ones that never demolished most of the churches while making swimming pools, basketball courts, and flea markets out of the rest. Practitioners in Russia, whose moral compass has no discernible North, can cross themselves the traditional three times with such speed that gouging out an eye is a possibility.
I can tell you that many religions do exist in Russia, but religious people don’t.
That is why it was particularly hysterical when Putin began his speech with the funny-hat club by saying, “We, as Russians, have a special connection with the Holy Land in Israel. As a nation that believes and regards religion as one of its core values, we are gravely distressed by Israel’s assault on Gaza and call for it to stop.”
