Sales of Vibrators in Russia Lowest Since 1998

There is a lot of pent-up sex in Russia and something must give

B Kean


Photo by IFONNX Toys on Unsplash

They’re not doing it as much or they prefer to do it without the assistance of toys. The women of Russia are not relaxed and so the frequency with which they masturbate has also dropped considerably.

I met the self-proclaimed “Queen of Vibrators” the other night at a dinner in Portugal. Sveta moved her family over shortly after the war started last year. Her husband is a typical, beaten-down Russian man who is perfectly content so long as his wife earns a lot of money. Each time he started to say something, she seemed to fear that his pro-Putin sentiments would surface and so she shut him down: “Ivan, stop blabbering over there and go order us some wine.”

“He loves Putin. I need to be careful with him — and myself. One night after he explained why he loves Putin I bloodied his lip. That’s how much I hate Putin.”

I sat and listened with joy and was thoroughly entertained by her stories about the self-pleasuring habits of Russian women. With my wife nearby, I would pretend to be more engrossed in my grilled sardines but I found it interesting that Sveta so openly shared the details of her business with us.

“I used to have a three-hour meet-up in St. Petersburg called ‘My vagina is my friend’.”

In Russia, as in many countries, sex is penis-centric, she told us. Talk and exploration about the vagina were discouraged. Most men, she said to a chorus of shaking heads, regarded the female genitalia as a combination of something that is unclean and to be protected like a fragile Faberge egg in a museum.

Everyone laughed and her husband rolled his eyes trying to find an ally in me. The thing was, I was in total agreement with her. I dated many women after they had been with Russian men and listened to their complaints. I knew that way Russian men spoke about sex and you really get the impression that women should be covering the sidewalks with palms when a man walks past.

Sveta’s disgust of Putin and hatred of the war was multifaceted but one of the main reasons was because of how all of the death and uncertainty was affecting her business.



B Kean

The past holds the answers to today’s problems. “Be curious, not judgmental,” at least until you have all the facts. Think and stop watching cable news.