Navalny Died of ‘Sudden Death Syndrome’
Translation: One punch to the heart after being held outside in below-zero temperatures
“One punch, Chuck!” It’s actually “two-buck, Chuck,” and that is what the Charles Shaw line of mediocre wines at Trader Joe’s is called. The prison authorities in Kara-Yarmysh, a nightmarish place located at the edge where civilization ends and hell begins, pulled an all-nighter and came up with an interesting explanation for Alexey Navalny’s death: Sudden death syndrome.
It’s an ominous name because so much is conveyed in those three little words. Time lapsed: Sudden. Cause: a Syndrome. Result: Death. Wow! This is definitely something you would never order off a menu in a restaurant.
“Yes, I will take a cup of the onion soup. And may I have some pickles with that? And, a ‘sudden death syndrome’ sandwich…medium rare, please.”
Nope. Not for me and not today — hopefully never. Poor Alexey, however, was allegedly held outside in solitary confinement for up to two and a half hours in sub-zero temperatures. Other inmates are held there for no longer than an hour because of the danger of freezing to death. Then, they say, Navalny was taken out, and on his way back to the “warmth” of his cell, he was punched in the heart.
