Mr. Dohan,
As for your grandfather's experiences, I think we all now know the basis for his depression. I am also probably where you in terms of political persuasion.
I don't agree with you about "what is fascism." You don't need an SS to have fascism. You know don't to have the extremes. I have been working and doing a lot of living in Russia for the past 26 years. Russia is an example of a mix between authoritarianism and fascism. I have also spent much of the past quarter century in Bavaria where I go for holidays, Oktoberfest, etc. I have spoken with former Nazi's in beer gardens--older people of course as well as professors at the universities in Munich and Vienna. They always talked about the incremental crawl of fascist rhetoric. First attack the media and discredit it; build the conspiracy and feed it regularly--"international Jewry," and the "great stab in the back.," for Hitler. Trump has Mexican, the Q lunacy supports him and the "Big Lie." Putin has "America is out to destroy us." Everything that happens in Russia bad is caused by foreigners--NOTHING is the fault of Russia or the government--these are crucial building blocks, like LEGOs. for fascism incrementalism. Slowly but surely, you need to demonstrate that everyone else is "less" than you, less than your way of life. Patriotism and fascism walk hand in hand only fascism turns violent and creates laws and policies that restrict and punish those not of the "chosen people." Fascism also controls the adoration for the state--either it says go all out and fly flags everywhere all the time; or, in Russia's case, it forbids people from being overly patriotic in public for fear they could lose control of the "beast."
Now, back to my elderly beer-drinker in Munich. Back in 2013, this man told me over a beer something that was very instructive and convinced me that despite the warning signs of our incremental crawl toward fascism, we wouldn't become so because first of all we had strong institutions--not so anymore, though. Trump and the Republicans have weakened them considerably. The old man also said, "you don't have to worry young man, America will never be fascist because you don't have the patriarchy DNA in your blood." Russia has a Putin and many look at him as if he were god-like; Hitler was in Germany, Stalin, Mussolini and Franco...America seemed free from this weakness--until Trump came to the WH. The personality cult revolving around Trump is missing glue for taking those LEGO pieces and bringing them altogether in one big, permanent structure of hate, exclusion and "we are better than them." Now, if I exaggerate its because I know history and know how to range back and forth and pull out the relevant pieces; I also know people as I have been "on the road" studying them for 26 years and speak 5 languages. I talk...I read their newspapers. People will open up in ways you can't imagine in small, little northern Italian "bars" like you can't imagine--one elderly gentleman, the proprietor in a small place serving whine and aged ham in the town of San Daniele still spoke of Mussolini as Il Duce has been his father.
If you know history, then my "hyperbole" will seem unnecessary. Sir, most of the Americans I know don't know history. I am writing to them, and you, because as you inaccurately stated, "fascism" doesn't need camps and SS and Gestapo to be so--it needs what America has today: Trump, a willing and supportive media to reinforce the narrative of lies (Fox News, etc.), an accepting and let's say intellectually lazy audience. economic strife (income inequality is worse now than ever and only getting worse) and cataclysmic events, like a pandemic, which turn the status quo on its head.
Sir, I exaggerate because everyone of us not in support of Trump has to wake up and end the complacency. They do have armed bands, as we saw on 1/6, we don't. We have foolishly worked to defund the police--do you think an unemployed cop now will be supportive of the left or the right after losing his job because of the defund the police lunacy?
Another thing they have is, what I am sure you many not have thought of: they are creating a history of grievance in the same way Hitler made holidays our of certain important dates before his ultimate seizure of power. 1/6 will become their Bunker Hill, for sure.
Anyway. I have answered as best I can here--I apologize for the stream of consciousness writing. I just woke up and was drinking my first coffee. Keep reading, sir. There is plenty I have written than backs up my "specious" facts...history, sadly, backs me up--I wish it didn't.