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Emerging from His Underwater Lair Like Beowulf, Putin Speaks
In case he gets ousted as Russia’s failed czar, this speech was a great audition tape for West Side Story
He’s back. Seeing his Pillsbury doughboy face on the screen reminded me of both The Shining and West Side Story.
As Putin talked, you could see him conjuring up the tough kid from Baskov Pereulok (roughly translated into English means shitty, little street where the demon seed was planted).
He was imagining how he used to huff a Soviet-era glue called “Moment,” which I wouldn’t doubt he is huffing still — if you look closely you can see a little bit of stickiness on his upper lip — and feeling good. “I would have whooped that rebellion with these hands, these hands right here, see?” In half-seriousness though, I couldn’t help but tap my foot to the “Jet Song” from West Side Story as Putin spoke.
When you’re a Jet
You’re a Jet all the way
From your first cigarette
To your last dyin’ day
When you’re a Jet
If the spit hits the fan
You got brothers around
You’re a family man
