What Is It About the Vagina That So Scares Conservatives?

And what is it about guns that make them so happy?

B Kean
4 min readJun 29, 2022


Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash

What is it about the vagina that makes white men so goddamned angry? Could it be that there is some sort of separation syndrome? Could it be a secret longing to have one?

I would like to offer up a “God only knows” what makes them so nasty when it comes to the vagina, but to be fair I don’t even think God knows what lies in those dank, angry hearts and minds.

There is a saying in many languages, I currently speak a small handful and am in the process of adding another, and let me sum it up: a camel is still at the end of the day a camel. An insecure, angry white man is still just an insecure, angry white man; and so, really I expect no flashes of enlightenment from them — “was that lightning?”

What is it about conservative women, though? Why are they so angry? What is it that makes them so want to give the rights to their vaginas to the “men folk?” The whore-Madonna complex I think doesn’t apply here but then again maybe it does. Not an expert in whores or Mother Madonna, despite having survived eight years of Catholic school, do the emotions that drive men to put women up on untouchable pedestals also inspire anger in the “women folk?”

One giveth and one taketh

This train of thought, like so many these days, leads me to guns. It’s odd, right, just how closely these two things, the abortion “thang” and the gun “thang,” are so closely interconnected.

Say what you will about the gun but its ultimate use case is for the ending of life. Say what you will about the vagina, the role it plays in giving us life cannot be underestimated by any means. In both cases, it takes a firm, pointy instrument to act upon objects at rest, and then the ensuing explosions either take life or give us life. It is pretty absolute, right?

But it’s not as straightforward as it seems. First of all, guns don’t fire on their own. Behind every gun, there is a human being taking aim and pulling a trigger.

Life, thanks to the ingenuity and intelligence of not-so-angry women and men, the ones truly enamored with the powers bestowed upon us by a God above, can…



B Kean

The past holds the answers to today’s problems. “Be curious, not judgmental,” at least until you have all the facts. Think and stop watching cable news.